I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm getting married
To pizza
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
