i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
