I feel like abortions should bother me more
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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