when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
