yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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