The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
