this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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