Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
zippers are such a cool invention
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
