I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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