Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
