He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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