I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
