Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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