Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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