And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
