My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
