Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize