how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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