I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize