I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize