i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
