You're completely useless in the revolution.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
