i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
