I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
