I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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