That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
