After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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