Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
