she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
well you can't waste a boner
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
