Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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