I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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