Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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