You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
