The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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