i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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