Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I fill condoms, not promises.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
