I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize