Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
