Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
