Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
