tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
