Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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