was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
