he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize