Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
