the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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