Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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