I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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