what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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