? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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