this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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