i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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