so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
