the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
