Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
