Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I need to calm my uterus...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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