i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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