Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
