So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
