Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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