I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm both gender and math confused
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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