just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
